THE MONOGAMY SPECTRUM
Define Your Boundaries
Inspired by Justin’s book The Monogamy Spectrum, this talk brings the heart, humor, and lived experience to the stage. It invites audiences to rethink how commitment, intimacy, freedom, and loyalty actually work in real relationships. The goal is simple. Participants leave with a clearer understanding of their relational preferences regarding physical, emotional and financial monogamy, the tools to communicate them, and the confidence to design agreements that feel honest, stable, and sustainable.
Using stories from twenty-five years with Joe, examples from the book such as stable dating, the Three Entities, the Horseshoe of Relationship Health, and the Growth Patterns diagram, Justin guides the room away from “right or wrong” thinking and toward authentic, thoughtful relationship design.
It is not a talk about becoming non-monogamous. It is a talk about becoming intentional.
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
By the end of this session, participants will be able to:
1. Understand
Participants will learn the core concepts from The Monogamy Spectrum, including:
The idea that monogamy is a social construct shaped by culture, religion, economics, and tradition.
The Monogamy Spectrum itself, which spans from complete monogamy to expansive relationship structures with many choices in between.
The Three Entities model. Every relationship contains three identities. You, your partner, and the shared relationship. All three need nourishment to thrive.
The Horseshoe of Relationship Health. How codependence, isodependence, and interdependence function and relate to each other.
Participants leave with a grounded understanding of the landscape instead of stereotypes or assumptions.
2. Analyze
Participants will explore how their own stories and histories shape their ideas of commitment.
They will examine inherited beliefs from family, culture, and religion, which the book illustrates from ancient Mesopotamia to modern digital life.
They will compare growth patterns. Parallel growth vs. intersection growth, which often leads to premature commitment and misalignment.
They will identify how their personal values, childhood experiences, and emotional needs influence their boundaries and expectations.
This section uses both humor and candor, especially the personal examples.
3. Apply
Participants will take the insights and turn them into practical relationship actions.
They will define their own relational boundaries using the book’s language of honesty, consent, clarity, and shared agreements.
They will identify what belongs in their “rules,” their “agreements,” and their “preferences.”
They will learn communication tools that turn discomfort into curiosity through experience sharing, transparency, and mutual respect.
The focus here is empowerment instead of judgment.
4. Evaluate and Integrate (for workshops or deeper applications only)
Participants will map their learning into their real relationships.
They will assess their current relational structure using the interdependence model.
They will refine or redesign agreements for stability, trust, and emotional honesty.
They will create a personalized version of their place on The Monogamy Spectrum as it relates to physical, emotional and financial monogamy.
In summary:
This talk brings the book to life by walking participants through understanding, analyzing, applying, and integrating the insights from The Monogamy Spectrum. The message is both liberating and grounding. There is no correct relationship model, only the one you choose and maintain with intention, kindness, honesty, and clarity. Participants finish with a better understanding of themselves and a deeper capacity for connection with the people they love.