LOOPHOLES

Loopholes, Good Faith, and Why Technical Compliance Damages Relationships

Every meaningful relationship is built on agreements. Some are formal, like what you decide with a business partner. Some are personal, like the boundaries you set with a spouse. Some are professional, like expectations with employees or clients. And in every one of these relationships, there is a hidden threat that often goes unnoticed until trust starts to crack. That threat is loopholing.

Loopholing is the act of technically obeying the rules while ignoring the intention behind them. It is a way to avoid consequences without honoring the relationship. You comply with the wording, but not the meaning.

A common example sounds like this:

“Yes, we agreed on no texting, but you did not say anything about DMing.”

It quickly becomes a debate about formats instead of a conversation about honesty.

Why Loopholing Damages Relationships

It creates confusion

Suddenly the other person needs to specify every possible version of the same behavior, which is impossible.

It erodes trust

When someone honors the letter of an agreement but not the spirit, the relationship loses reliability. People stop believing your words reflect your intentions.

It becomes a type of lie

Technical truth combined with emotional dishonesty still harms the relationship.

Good Faith: The Antidote

Good faith means choosing to honor the intention behind the agreement even when the wording leaves room to wiggle out. It is the difference between protecting your partner or colleague and protecting your loophole.

Good faith builds clarity. Loopholes build resentment.

If you want your relationships, teams, or partnerships to last, shift your focus from technical compliance to genuine alignment.

Start the shift.

If you want support bringing this work to your leadership team or event, reach out and let us talk.