SOCIALIZED ANXIETY
Socialized Anxiety and Why You Keep Thinking Every Room Is Mad at You
Many entrepreneurs and leaders live with a quiet, constant question in their nervous system.
“Did I do something wrong?”
That feeling has a name.
Socialized anxiety.
In a recent video, I use a moment from Alice in Wonderland to explain it. The Cheshire Cat tells Alice, “We’re all mad down here.” Alice looks up and says, “At me?!?”
That is socialized anxiety in one line.
It is when you take the emotional tone of a room and place the blame on yourself. You walk into meetings, events, and conversations already apologizing with your body. You scan faces for danger. You try to be liked instead of being real.
This often starts when you grow up being corrected for who you are. Over time, you stop believing the world is unpredictable. You start believing it is angry at you.
The truth is far kinder.
Most rooms are not mad at you. They are full of nervous systems trying to get through the day.
Just because someone is upset does not mean you caused it. Just because energy feels heavy does not mean you are responsible for fixing it.
The work is not to get rid of anxiety. The work is to thank the part of you that learned it as a survival strategy, then gently remind yourself that you are not in danger now.
When you stop making other people’s feelings mean something about your worth, leadership gets easier. So does being human.
If this resonates, watch the video, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a comment. If you plan events for leaders and want this work brought into your organization, let’s talk.