TOOL No. 3 THE FENCE
The Fence: Why Boundaries Are the Secret to Better Leadership and Stronger Teams
Entrepreneurs and event planners both know this truth. People do not leave companies or experiences because of bad strategy. They leave because something felt unsafe, awkward, or unseen.
Most of that discomfort comes down to one simple thing. Boundaries.
In my upcoming book The Relationable Toolkit, Tool No. 3 is called The Fence. It is about how we define where we end and someone else begins, and how we navigate those differences with respect.
Here is the core idea.
Boundaries are something you define for yourself. They are not something you get to enforce on other people.
Think about something as simple as physical touch. I am a hugger. Hugging is how I show warmth and care. But not everyone experiences connection the same way. Some people prefer a handshake. Some prefer a fist bump. Some prefer no contact at all.
None of those preferences are wrong. They are simply different.
The mistake we make in leadership, culture, and relationships is assuming that our way is the right way. That is where tension is born. When someone’s fence does not match ours, we tend to take it personally, when what we really should be doing is getting curious.
The Fence teaches three powerful leadership lessons.
First, difference is data. When someone’s boundary does not match yours, it is not rejection. It is information about how they feel safe.
Second, curiosity builds trust. Asking someone where their fence is shows respect, and respect creates psychological safety.
Third, honoring boundaries is how culture becomes real. Teams do not need to be the same to work well together. They need to feel seen.
When leaders learn to recognize and respect different fences, conflict drops, engagement rises, and people bring more of themselves to the work.
That is how healthy cultures are built, one boundary honored at a time.
If this resonates, watch the video, share it with your team, and leave a comment about what you are noticing in your own workplace. If you plan events for leaders and want this work brought into your organization, let us talk.